staying still in the swirl

One son is showering, one has gone with his sister for groceries, a daughter is away at work, another son and daughter are camping, and yet another playing at a friend's house and the husband is at work, saving the world. And I sit here quiet, still, peaceful, alone at the dinner table. The day is winding down, coming to close. God, you are here too. This morning you were so present to me at the altar also. How you permeate my life and thoughts, my heart fills with love and wonder. You are beauty itself. All praise and all thanksgiving belong to you. Your word is everlasting.
Answer the prayers of all those who seek you, show us your mercy.

Life is so fragile.

It was an accident. He was driving too fast, flipped the car off the road into a pond and drowned. He was 19. Another story in a newspaper. A sentence quickly read, a page turned, forgotten.
But the pain, the grief of the real people involved. He was a close friend of my daughter. She was talking with him just the other day. She promised him she'd come and visit him and their mutual gang of friends soon. Maybe if she'd called him that night, she had considered it and then being tired, didn't, maybe he would be alive now.... maybe....maybe..... and the tears, the heart breaking grief ..... it can't be possible..... the tears..... "Mommy, pray for him, pray for him..." weeping myself, I whisper, "I am, I will."
Even as an old ICU nurse, one never gets used to death. How is it possible that the body, this wonderful temple of the Holy Spirit, one moment animated and the next, gone. Gone home to the Lord.
He was the oldest of seven children, loved by his Mom and Dad, just thinking of their pain fills my heart with sadness.... Oh Jesus, I could never understand any of it.... it is almost too much to dwell on, come to their aid. Help all who are grieving... and welcome him home.

It's been too long....

Well, I'm back.... kind of, sort of.... I just don't know if I'll bother to write anymore. I wonder is it just narcissistic, or am I looking for recognition and validation (when I write). Interesting questions, maybe I'll answer them slowly, someday. For now, it has been so long since I have written that no one follows the blog or will probably read it. So in the end, it will be a thinking out loud type of exercise.