Blessings and Mercy

Monco the monkey arrived home safely yesterday. Brian unfolded his little body from the light bulb box they had mailed him in and was ecstatic. He now joins Daddy-O on the bed and will rest until his next adventure. He did miss some action though. High on the ceiling of our front entrance there is a fan and light fixture. Brian was heard chuckling delightedly on Thursday past, he had taken kangaroo baby "joey" and was launching him into the spinning fan and watching him fly out the other side. This did keep the five year old entertained for a good half an hour. I mentioned to Brian that it might be rather a cruel game, he laughed and informed me that "Joey wasn't real and anyhow, Joey's parents, Mrs. Kanga and Huggsie Bear, had given him permission to do it!"

Speaking of parental permission, Owen (17), our oldest son, is leaving home next month. He is going out west to live with his Godfather and finish his high school and experience his uncle's new business. Business is what he thinks he may choose as a career. He has been home schooled to date but when this opportunity arrived we thought it might be a great experience for him, a touch of reality, since we as parents have entered the "realm of not-knowing anything." He is a good person and is growing into a fine young man, and I use "good" as defined as morally formed and right-acting. He is prayerful, close to God and trying to stand up and be "a man." He is restless at home.... hence the Godfather's impeccable timing . Knowing all this with my head and seeing the benefits, my heart still feels rather torn. We will miss him, his siblings will miss him.... the family dynamics are changing and as parents, Guy and I will start having to slowly let go of the "dream."

The "dream," being growing up, getting married and having a family, realizing that this all belongs to God, that we rely on Him for everything and that the sooner we understand that and abandon ourselves to His loving will the easier it will be. Owen is even more than usual "belonging" to God. He was an identical twin. We lost his brother, Gabriel, at 28 weeks of pregnancy and Owen was born in critical condition weighing 2lbs and fitting in the palm of our hands. With a lot of prayer and God's mercy, he survived and has grown up without any significant problems. That, I believe, is a huge underlying theme of my life, trusting in the good God, because all is due to His divine mercy. He has always been so good to us, we owe Him everything. Thank you, Lord.

Bionicles and the Big Picture

Ashlinn (10) climbed into bed with me this morning, spread her long hair across the pillow, her father had abandoned to go to work earlier, and spoke. "Mommm.....?" There I knew that the Holy Spirit was soon to be invoked.

She spoke of her frustration at her friend, from across the road, who seemed to be trying to outdo her, who worked at being "better", who spoke "meanly" to her quite frequently and now, to add insult to injury, who has convinced her father to buy her a new "Bionicle" each month. This Lego type toy is one that Ashlinn loves.... and why wouldn't we promise to buy Ashlinn the same...."They're not that expensive and I really, really, really want them and it's not fair that she (the friend) gets everything she wants just by asking!!!" I replied that it is true, life seems to be very unfair most of the time, but we have to try to see it with heaven's eyes.

I asked her to think of the big picture, and put index finger and thumb together to gauge the size of the Bionicles, and with the other hand drew the distance out of 5, 10, 20, 60 years from now. "Where will you be in 5 years from now." I asked and she replied that she would be doing her high school work and thinking about going on to be a vet, and that in 60 to 80 years from now that she would be in heaven. The relative size of the Bionicles was getting smaller. But she was still frustrated and groaned and slapped the bed. "But I still want them!!"

This is where the Holy Spirit came in. I told her that as human beings we are made up of body and soul, and it is easy to hear the body part of ourselves, "I'm hungry, I'm thirsty or tired or cold." The soul part of ourselves, the life of God within us, is harder to hear. It too can starve, that is why we pray, read the Bible and other holy books and go to Church and receive the sacraments, so that we can live and grow in holiness so that we can go to heaven. "So," she asked is, "my friend starving?" The friend and family go to a bible church, so I explained that the Catholic Church, like a basket, contained all the elements of salvation, and other churches were like smaller baskets and had only some of the elements needed. She got it.

I returned to the big picture and told her that all the little things she does to help out around the house or her siblings, all of these things are building treasures in heaven, and they are much bigger and more important than bionicles...and by praying more she can quiet the "shouts" of her body that "want, want want" and then will learn to hear better the whisperings of her soul, and its' longing for heaven. "I'm luckier than her, eh, Mom?" She slipped of the bed and padded to the door peacefully, "Love you." and was gone, off on her day. And I lay back and praised God for my beautiful children and the grace that He allows me.

Thank you, Lord.

DisOrdered Canada?

You know what? I think it is wrong that Canada awards the biggest abortionist the highest civilian medal, the Order of Canada..... it literally makes me sick. In the past I worked as an ICU nurse... managled bodies, pain and suffering...I've seen it all. How can people do this? In the face of such suffering, the babies, the women.... even those who are facing euthanasia.... I do look to heaven and wonder at His silence. But I know that it is not silence really.... I have a sense that He is holding back, waiting, hoping perhaps that in all this free will we would choose Him. Man, it makes me feel helpless and powerless. What can we do more? We support monetarily and go to the marches, we pray daily.... Guy has actually saved a few babies by talking with the pregnant mothers in his medical office.... we have offered to take them and even adopt their children if need be. It just never seems enough. Hear our prayers, oh Lord, and answer them.

And then in my heart of hearts I hear His voice telling me to be patient, that He is not ready yet, that the time is not now.... that death is not the last word.... that He loves and wants each life.... that, in my sorrow, is a comfort.

On Missing Monco and Meghan

Brian realized last evening, in bed, with sobs of anguish, that little Monco, his plush toy monkey was gone. Monco has followed him everywhere for the last few years. Brian is five and Monco is.... memory escapes me when he joined the family. He has had quite a few adventures since his arrival. Brian has tested out Monco's flying ability from the upper landing. He doesn't...but he does land in the artifical tree on the way down so we know he can climb. He can dry tears, sleep with Brian when he is not well, get squished up into a small ball, and has gone to Florida with us on vacation. This time he came with us to Smithville for my parents 50ieth. He was well behaved, watched Brian play soccer with his siblings and cousins, slept well at night and travelled well all the roundabout way back from Smithville to Trenton, where we dropped Ronan (12) off to Air Cadet camp and then on to North Bay. We couldn't drive anymore and slept overnight at a motel. Monco loves to sleep in motels, however he forgot to untangle himself from the covers in the morning and got left behind. I have made a call to the motel and they are mailing poor Monco home, he should be here in a day or two.

I explained this to Brian who listened carefully, sniffed significantly and sighed. "I will tell Daddy-O that he'll be home soon." (Daddy-O being Monco supposed larger father)

"That's great, sweetheart, now go to sleep." said I having resolved all the heartache.

"Noooo!" wailed he afresh, "I miss Meghan!!!!" Who, rightfully you ask, is she? She is his oldest sister who has returned to Smithville to drive her hockey crazy brother to hockey camp.... another story in its self. I talked with Brian about Jesus and the good angels and pleasing them and he dropped off to sleep.

Come home quick, Monco! Meg, too.

Fr. Sean Coyle mentioned my folks in his blog. They just celebrated 50 years of marriage and are an incredible example of love and faith in action. They have passed through so many experiences with trust in God and have relied on him for all of their lives. They have laid out footsteps cast in faith that have directed Guy's and my life, our marriage and our children's lives. There are not enough words to describe our love and respect for them. They are truly saintly people.

The celebration started with Holy Mass, followed by dinner and dancing and then a week at a northern cottage... it continues in the daily life of prayer, family and work.

I love you, thank you for all the love and prayers over the years...don't stop, there are miles to go before you sleep....